“You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything.” – Henry David Thoreau
I remember the day my brother John was born. I was a senior in high school and I remember my grandma picking me up after school. I remember my grandmother telling me that I had another brother and yelling to a friend out the window that I had a brother named John. Maybe if you are the oldest sibling you understand the unique bond between the oldest and the youngest sibling. While I wasn’t around a lot while John was growing up, I have always felt a deep connection with him.
When John told me that he and his wife were going to have a baby, I was ecstatic over the news. I remember praying many prayers as I watched the progress of the pregnancy. I remember getting the news that his wife was in labor and rushing to the hospital just in time to watch both John and his wife move to the delivery room. I remember seeing the small incubator roll down the hallway and being incredibly thankful as well as excited for them. A few days later, I got to visit the premature baby unit and get an official introduction to the newest nephew. I marveled at how my brother John was adapting to fatherhood and I marveled at how small and fragile baby Gunner appeared. When I saw how small my nephew’s features were and how large my brother’s hands appeared to be against my nephew’s hands, I thought of what a wonder he was and how amazing the whole experience was. I remember thinking as I left the hospital, I wonder what Gunner will grow up to be and what contribution he will make to the world around him. As I have watched Gunner and his three siblings grow up over the last few years, I marvel at how unique they each are.
As I think of the quote from Henry David Thoreau, I think of just how unique we each are. It’s taken me years to realize that I myself am a unique creation. I remember how in my youth I just thought I wanted to be “normal” and how I wanted to simply do what everyone else was doing. One of I think the greatest lies we tell ourselves and believe is that there is something wrong with us if we are different or lack some ability. This lie and belief is very prevalent among people with disabilities.
I remember one conversation I had as a youth leader with one young woman we had taken to camp that illustrate just how powerful the belief and lie are. I had told this young woman that she could attend the weekend camp. The young woman was so excited to be attending that for weeks leading up to the camp she would go on and on about how excited she was. Everything seemed to be going along fine that Saturday. The kids seemed to totally enjoy the events and the freedom they had to choose what they wanted to do. Saturday night, I had told each of the kids that they could order anything from the snack bar has a reward and because what kid doesn’t like eating snacks late at night?
As I sat around one of the tables watching various kids enjoy the night, this young woman looked a bit tired from all of the activities. When I asked her how things were going, she didn’t really answer, I asked her if she would like to do something with me. Her response was, “no I would just like to sit here.” I got a strange feeling that this young woman who was so excited to come to camp had something she wanted to say. As I started to ask questions, I could see some small tears welling up in her eyes. I asked did something happen or was there and issue she had and needed someone to talk to? Through her speech problem and her tears, I learned that she had seen other young girls in her cabin with better clothing and were around the mirror’s putting on makeup.
Now, you would think it is no big deal, right? The other girls hadn’t done or said anything. They had even been incredibly welcoming and accepting of her. What I learned after asking more questions was that my friend was realizing in a profound way that she was different and that she felt what she was even wearing was not like the others. The other thing I learned was that this young woman was told by a parent that wearing nice clothes and makeup would only invite trouble as well as disabled girls are not attractive and her parent never would allow her to wear makeup or dress as she felt. My initial reaction was anger and surprise at how a parent could say such things.
As we sat talking, I shared how I felt experiencing some of the same issues growing up also sharing how I and others felt about her and what we saw in her as a person. I reminded her of her uniqueness and strength she had exhibited reminding her that God does not create junk and in fact created her as something special. As I walked back with one of the female leaders, I told her about our conversation as well as the issue she was dealing with. When word reached a few of the young women in the cabin, both the leaders and some of the young women decided all on their own to create a makeup bag and present it to her. We could not do much about her clothing issue but, the next day my friend came out totally excited because the young women in the group had helped her apply a small bit of makeup.
When I think of my nephews and nieces as well as my friend we took to camp, I am reminded of the importance of seeing each person regardless of their age or ability as each unique creations with abilities and unique talents. We would all do well if we sought to tell children as well as adults that they possess such wonderful potential. As I often tell young parents with young babies, he or she is going to change the world. I have no idea if making such statements plants the seed but, I seek to remind people.
Thoughts? E-mail: francisearly@francisearly.com
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