Maybe it is age that pulls one’s heart toward a desire for peace and stillness. Or maybe it is living in these times, when we are witnessing a world that seems a bit out of balance. The noise around us feels like a washing machine that’s off-kilter, and we find ourselves thinking or even saying aloud will someone please fix the machine?

Recently, I found myself sitting in the church of my youth and, as I looked at the Christmas nativity scene, I realized how peaceful I felt in that moment. All the craziness of the day and of the outside world seemed to stop. For the first time in a long while, I began to feel peace and to hear stillness. I wondered if it was being in that church, along with imagining the real nativity scene from two thousand years ago, that brought about this sense of calm. I wished I could hold on to those moments and feelings, so I did what I could to capture them—I took a picture of the nativity and the view I had of it.

Now, five days into the new year, one thing I deeply desire is peace and stillness in my life. And if I could ask you, I think you would say you want the same. The thought I keep reflecting on is this: how did this baby in the nativity grow up to bring peace and stillness in his own time? Jesus’ world was also very turbulent. Yet his encounters with people as an adult brought peace and stillness, and men and women throughout the ages since have found the same. I am not even sure where to begin looking or what questions to ask. I only know that I truly want—and deeply need—more peace and stillness in my life.

My ears and my heart are open and listening. I am sitting, as Mary and Joseph did at the nativity, simply taking it all in—unsure of what it all means, yet willing to ponder and continue asking, what does this all mean?